Relief – I would say something cute or cliché, but…
Mallory appears to have come through her fall unscathed. The dark thoughts, the anxiety, the dread, the recriminations seem to be fading.
I suspect to non-parents reading this – if there are any and spiders don’t count – this seems a touch melodramatic. And I don’t know how to explain it or if it’s possible.
But I’ll try.
I’ve never felt a love as intense for anyone as I feel for my daughter. It tingles out to my finger tips. It warms the core of my body like hot chocolate (or scotch).
The thought of her being hurt, or dead induces nausea. That I would be responsible for her being harmed makes me feel like suicide.
Having a kid is that intense.
I talked to a number of people at work – it was all I could think about – and they all had similar stories: head wounds, strangulation, broken limbs.
Yesterday, one of the parents of another toddler in Mallory’s room shut the car door on her daughter’s finger.
“It happens, you get over it,” I heard.
So I’m moving on, a little wiser, even more cautious.
Did I say I wasn’t going to say anything cliché? Sorry. It happens.
September 6th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Chris, as a non-parent your entries did not come across as overly dramatic at all. Being responsible for another living being is scary and thinking you might have contributed to some pain is heart-wrenching. for another cliché, it’s living and learning…glad you’re all ok.
September 5th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Oh sweetie! You didn’t do anything to her. She fell. The only way to protect her from ever falling again would be to stop her from ever doing anything. And what kind of life would she have then?
That being said, I have said many, many times that it’s really good my boys have two parents, because I would never let them do ANYTHING.
And I do know what you mean about the intensity. I would throw myself in front of a truck for my kids. Glad, though, that it’s unlikely to ever come to that.
October 7th, 2007 at 11:16 am
Chris: As a parent of two kids who have both already done their tumbles and finger catching and general scrathces, cuts and whatever……it happens, man….. Thank the Gods it wasn’t more serious and give her a few more hugs and kisses…..